


If you fall in love with me, dont.

by DrunnkIvy



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, F/F, Fluff, Just something that popped in my mind, Poetry, Soojin is in love with Shuhua's voice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26291080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrunnkIvy/pseuds/DrunnkIvy
Summary: Soojin is her class for literature when she heard a beautiful voice declaiming an even more beautiful poem.
Relationships: Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua
Kudos: 47





	If you fall in love with me, dont.

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by this poem that I saw on YouTube called If You Fall In Love With Me, Dont. I'll link the video here. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QGk7ruZMww ) Please keep in mind English it's not m first language.

It was a raining day, literature class had started about twenty minutes ago and the teacher had asked who would want to read their poem aloud to the class. Soojin wasn’t paying attention, most of the words were about parties, food and sex in other words the cliché of every teenager. Soojin was always a quiet girl, the type that listens to everyone but takes a lot of effort for her to say something and start a real talk. As she looked to the window, following the raindrops with her eyes she heard a soft but powerful voice rise and declaim small words that stood out from the rest. As she looked around the room she saw a small girl in the back of the classroom standing with her notebook in front of her face, her hands were a bit unsteady making the object shake a little. Her voice was sweet like honey, but strong demanding the attention of the whole class. As Soojin inspected the girl with vivid eyes, she let her brain process the words that slipped out the girl’s mouth.

– If you fall in love with me, don’t.  
This isn’t some cliché poem about my childhood suffering from the lack of a male role model because that would be a terrible lie.  
And my dad raised a daughter with a guilty conscience, not a liar.  
Anyways, I’m here to warn you about what you might be getting yourself into.  
I smile by habit, not by choice.  
I giggle out of empathy, and humor, or embarrassment, but never to purposely spite.

Soojin felt herself been dragged towards that small figure that held so much power and held all the attention, her hair was dark with beautiful waves, falling around her shoulders and ending on her waist. A small, delicate, waist that looked it could break if anyone ever decided to touch it. 

– I get jealous when I see that someone can provide for other people in a way that I can’t.  
But that’s because I’m a people pleaser.  
And us, people-pleasers, we just want to give.  
And I go through phases just like the moon,  
but I always complete my lunar cycle and return to my bright self again.  
And you should probably know that I’m emotional.  
Like, really emotional.  
In fact, I may even think I have you fooled about how I’m feeling,  
but because my dad didn’t raise a liar,  
I am forced to unintentionally wear my big sobby heart on my sleeve.  
Oh and I’ll let something slide 1016 times,  
but after that, I don’t give second chances.  
I’m also an incredibly all-or-nothing person to a fault.  
But when I’m invested in something, I’d rather lose everything good I have  
before I even consider declaring bankruptcy.  
But remember: there are two sides to every coin,  
so if you fall in love with me, don’t.

The small girl spoke with property, it was like watching her introduce herself to some strange that was captivated by her beauty without knowing her personality. And Soojin could relate whit her, had herself been with someone who just loved the idea of her, never her true self. She could count on fingers how many people toke the time to truly try and understand her, but Soojin couldn’t blame it all on other people, she was never an easy person. With walls build around her heart and soul, with secrets she would take to the grave, a hard façade and a fatal look.

– Because in every lunar cycle, the moon disappears for a while,  
and it has a dark side too.  
And I said I was a people pleaser, and us people-pleasers… we pour.  
In fact, I will keep filling and filling your glass until it’s overflowing  
and my pitcher has gone empty  
because to see you hydrated is all I could ever want in this world,  
until I realize it’s left me drained.  
When I’m drained, I’ll get frustrated, and sometimes I’ll go into hiding.  
I’ll either take a solo hike or get in my car and drive just to get my distance, peace, and alone time.  
But don’t you worry because I’ll eventually turn around and come home again.  
Oh and I’m obsessed with galaxies and stars,  
but it depresses me to know these things will either get swallowed by a selfishly hungry black hole  
or explode and die in a supernova or whatever.  
but that’s beside the point.  
The point is: I’m a tangled mess of contradictory things  
But I’m not saying this to scare you  
I’m saying this to warn and protect you,  
and to properly love you, and to tell you not to worry about a thing.  
Because remember, I am an all-or-nothing person, so if I fall in love, I am all in for you.  
And if you, somehow, fall in love with me, don’t.

Most people could say that this little girl was pretentious, but Soojin could tell by the way her voice was nothing but soft and tender. She spoke from past experiences, from things that had occurred with her and Soojin saw herself wanting to know more about the girl, what she liked, what was her favorite color, how she spend her nights, what she thought about life. What were her fears? What made her passionate? What drove her crazy?

– Because I won’t be limited to loving you, but I’ll be head-over-heels for your smile,  
your giggle, the face you make when you’re embarrassed, and the look in your eyes  
when I know you’re jealous.  
I’ll fall in love with the way you endlessly try to please people and how it drives you crazy that it’s never enough.  
Or how you selflessly pour your pitcher to hydrate someone despite the fact you’re parched.  
I’ll fall in love with your phases, both dark and bright,  
and how sometimes you might go into hiding when you’re frustrated.  
I’ll fall in love with how you pretend you’re not emotional despite the fact you’re feelings are trying so hard to escape your eyes.  
And that special way you recharge yourself when you feel drained.  
I’ll even love your heart after you’ve given your last second chance to someone for the 1016th time because I know you’re a tangled mess of contradictory things.

And Soojin knew the girls wasn’t talking about loving someone else, she was talking about loving herself and how it’s hard sometimes but extreme necessary to survive in this world. It’s that cliché line “love yourself first to then love others” that it’s the absolute truth that almost everyone seems to forget with time. Soojin was very aware of how difficult it could be, but we all had to try.

– So please don’t just fall in love with me, because I’m not going to fall in love with “just you”.  
You’re too complex and complicated for it to be that simple, and so all I ask is that  
If you fall in love with me, you’ll fall in love with my infinite complexities, too.

The last part was like a pray for patience and understanding and hope for love in any form. Be it in the form of a friend or a lover, the girl was praying for someone as intense as her or someone that could understand her and all her nuances, that believed that people were full layers. Soojin clapped along with the class as soon as the girl had finished her poem. 

– Wow, Shuhua, that was really beautiful and well written. You surely have a talent with words. – The teacher said.

Soojin watched as the girl’s face, that she now knew was called Shuhua, got red from the compliment. Shuhua took her seat and let her eyes wander across the room when Soojin crossed their eyes. It would be pretty cliché if I told that they felt something none of them could describe what it was or they heart skipped a beat at the moment. But Soojin just smiled at her and went back to watching the raindrops outside the window.

Some things were better staying as wishes or living just in their heads, so both girls continued with their lives until the universe decided to put them together another time.


End file.
